Brutally Abused But I Still Love You
by DarkHybridChild
Summary: Okay, Prequel to my other fic. 'I love you but afraid to tell you' hardly any romance abuse and swearing and tear-jerker rating for abuse and swearing


Bakura: Oh no.  
  
DSK: yeesh!  
  
Yami: *sniggers* looks like she favors you and Ryou, Bakura..  
  
Bakura: gah.  
  
Ryou:..Oh come on yami its not that bad besides the viewers (well one) wanted a sequel  
  
Bakura: but this is a PREquel  
  
Ryou: Same thing.  
  
DSK: gah anyways.  
  
DSK: This is the prequel to my other story that was Ryou/Bakura fic and it contains angst swearing (by Ryou mostly..For a change) and bits and pieces of fluff and mention of shounen-ai (M/M relationships) If you don't like it THEN DON'T FREAKING READ IT! And this can and /might/ be a tear-jerker (it was for me and I wrote it) so if your really softhearted I dun suggest you read it.  
  
DSK: Its in Ryou's POV mostly and if it has ~*~*~'s it means its switched to 3rd person POV and if its ~~~'s it means its Bakura's POV  
  
DSK: Here's the Key: "blagh" = speaking 'blagh' = thinking /blagh/ = Ryou to Bakura //Blagh// = Bakura to Ryou through their mind link the *'s mean Ryou's thoughts (sorda)  
  
DSK: I do NOT own Yu-Gi-Oh nor do I own Ryou or Bakura I own the plot of the story and the thoughts of Ryou  
  
DSK: Now enjoy the fiction! Warnings: Angst, Abuse, Implied shounen-ai, Loneliness, and a lot of tears.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~Ryou's POV~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* I sit here looking out my window thinking. Wondering what my life would be without you. Although, I already know the answer, I wouldn't be anything without you. I sit here thinking on the past and the reasons why I cant get rid of you.  
  
*Who am I? Am I just a shadow to you? Only a body for you to enslave and take over?*  
  
I remember the past when we were in Duelist Kingdom. I hated it. When you took over my body and used me to try and steal Yami's puzzle. I forgave you for that. And that's all I was to you. Just a body and a shadow for you to take over and use at your own will. Never thinking of my feelings or me. But I forgave you for that as well.  
  
Soon after we were able to have separate bodies you started to rant and yell and eventually start beating me. I forgave you for that once again. My friends asked me why I put up with you and didn't fight back and get away or even run away at that.  
  
Well, I have my reasons. I hear you come through the door and hear you start to walk up the stairs. You stop in front of my door. I freeze in fear and panic but I won't move nor will I run because I know you need this. I might not like it and it might hurt me but I know it sets you free. So, I let you beat me. You open the door and walk in and all my thoughts drift away.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* The Door opens and Bakura walks in looking over the room. His eyes stop on the small figure of Ryou. The little one quivered in fear and panic, his warm brown chocolate eyes were now replaced with fear and confusion. To Bakura, it didn't look right and didn't match his soft features. Bakura stalked over to Ryou and stops a few feet from him. "Get up." Ryou shivered and didn't move 'cause he was frozen in fear. "I said get up!"  
  
Bakura grabbed Ryou and shoved him into the wall and smacked him hard "When I tell you something you do it. Got it?" He smacked Ryou again and punched him in the gut making Ryou crumple to the floor holding his stomach. Ryou groaned in pain but stifled and willed himself not to scream as Bakura's foot connected with his stomach and he felt himself pulled up by Bakura and got punched in the jaw, pain seared through his face and he yelped out and choked back a scream.  
  
Bakura smirked as he watched Ryou wither and squirm in pain. Bakura kicked him again and threw him into the wall making Ryou knock into his desk knocking over scissors and a knife and they scraped across Ryou's skin and left marks, blood started running from his arms and cheek where he got cut.  
  
Bakura turned around and walked out of the room smirking and stopped at the door and turned around and looked at Ryou, "You're so weak, I don't even know how your friends put up with you. Ra, I don't even know HOW I got stuck with you. You're too weak and pitiful. You're not worth theirs or my time and they won't care if you disappear out of the blue they never really cared for you in the first place." And with that, Bakura turned and walked out of the room, satisfied with the damage he had done.  
  
*I always hear your rants and sayings in my head. It echo's through my mind making me weaker each day. You say I'm not worth it. You say no one will care. What if your right?*  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* I picked myself up off the ground, my jaw hurt like ####. My arms bled like there was no tomorrow, my stomach hurts and the back of my head is bleeding and it hurts. I now have a full-fledged headache and with the back of my head bleeding it doesn't help. I stagger out of my room and down the hall to the bathroom.  
  
I open the medicine cabinet and pull out the peroxide and the cotten balls and gauze pads and wraps and Band-Aids and whatever else that would help cover my cuts and such. I wash my cuts with soapy water then put peroxide on them and put Band-Aids on the small ones and put gauze pads on the bigger ones and tape them there. I wrap my head so it stops the bleeding.  
  
Well, I cant do much about my jaw or stomach, I put a pad on my cheek where I got cut and walk out of the bathroom and stagger my way back to my room and shut the door behind me and I walk over and sit on my bed and pull my knees to my chest and put my arms around my knees and cry. I feel my tears roll down my face, I have no control over them, and they just fall at will. I remember my yami's words. 'Was it true? Did my friends really not care about me? Am I really alone?'  
  
*I'm starting to think that you're right. I'm alone in this world. That no one cares. That no one thinks i'm worth their time.*  
  
I sit here and cry, thinking about what my yami said. I wonder if it's true. 'Does no one care about me? Am I really, truly alone?' My tears fall more as I think. I feel like apart of my soul is leaving me. I feel utterly alone. Only I'm not. I'm here with you, but you don't even acknowledge that I'm around so in a way I am alone.  
  
*I'm stuck here with you, taking your abusing. Taking your ranting. Absorbing it all in till I think I would die. I hate to think that I don't mean anything to you.*  
  
I sit here still crying and wondering if I am all alone. I hear you pass my room, and I know you have a smirk on your face happy with what you've done. I'm happy too but sad nevertheless because I sacrifice my happiness for yours. It nearly breaks me when I hear your ranting in my mind. It echo's through and it doesn't really hit me till now. I start absorbing it all in. It's too much to think about. Oh I just want to die right now and get away from this life. I don't like to think that I don't mean anything to you, my friends or anyone else.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I pass Ryou's bedroom and I hear his quiet muffled sobs and I hear him speak out loud "I'm nothing...My friends don't care my yami doesn't care...I just want to die right here and now..My life means nothing to anyone...And all i wanted to do was make everyone happy. I go through my yami's abuse and yelling to make him happy. I listen and talk and laugh with my friends to make them happy I help them out when they need it..But it never seems to be enough.." I stop in my tracks, my smirk falls and it becomes a frown. 'Did Ryou really think that? Why would he risk his own life to make everyone happy? He doesn't care about himself just for the well being of others...' I began to think on that and I couldn't come up with how and why he would. I finally give up and walk to my room and shut the door behind me and fall back onto my bed and still think of what Ryou said. And I felt a slight feeling when I remembered what he said. He had taken all of my beating and yelling just to make me happy, just because he wants everyone to be happy. I fall asleep sometime during my thinking and go into a dreamless sleep.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* I stop crying. I just sit there in silence thinking still. I had heard my yami's thoughts about why i went through all of my suffering to make everyone happy. Although he will never understand my reasons.  
  
*Why you ask? It's so simple though you would never understand. I love you. There, I said it. I love you and I can never change that. Though through my beatings and what you say I always have. But every time I hear you say that no one will ever care for me it just makes me sad to think that you and everyone else will never care or love me.*  
  
He can't figure out why I go through all this trouble to make everyone happy and why I take his beatings and yellings. Well, I take his beatings and rantings cause I love him...I just noticed a few days ago I did, although I will never tell him I do because he cant love me back and he never will..At least I finally admited it. And nothing can change that. /But since you will never know I can only love you from afar in the shadows/ I spoke through the mind link but my yami always keeps it closed so he will never hear me.  
  
******************Next Day********************** I wake up and yawn and stretch, that wasn't a good thing to do. I groan in pain from my stomach. It still hurt like #### and so did my jaw. I take off the wrap from my head and check it. It didn't look too bad so I wont have to re-wrap it I take off the pads and Band-Aids and check over myself nothing bad shows just a few bruises and what-not although they wont show. I put on my school outfit and pickup my bag and head downstairs and I make myself some toast and I make breakfast for my yami since I know he will be getting up soon. I set it out for him and call through the mind link /I'm going to school now Yami, I'll be back home later today./ I hear him curse and yell through the mind link, //YOU BETTER BE BACK AS SOON AS SCHOOL GETS OUT NO LATER THEN 8 MINS AFTER OR YOUR GOING TO GET IT GODAMMIT YOU HEAR ME!?// I cringe at the tone of his voice but I reply /Yes yami./ and with that I walk out the door and walk to school.  
  
DSK: OKAAAYY! I'm done! Anyways how was it? Tell me in your review!! Now, I'm not review hungry I just like to know how I did Reviews welcome praise too flames are accepted so tell me what you think. Good. Bad. Or in between. Thanks for reading. Ja Ne!  
  
~DarkSetoKaiba~ 


End file.
